Wednesday, August 31, 2005
woke up late for FOM lecture today... reckoned tat i might as well dun go... since i already received a warning letter... im going to spend a stupid amount of $25 buckz later for an MC... alrite alrite... i noe poly clinic sells one for at least 4 times cheaper... but NO WAY am i gonna spend four stupid hours waiting... i swear lar... might as well kill me... i rather spend e xtra money...
damn... juz realised i need to save up for his birthday... ass..its not going to b cheap... n he's still angry with me... wat an idiot... nv reply me in msn.. u win le lor....
hey! juz realised this is e 100th post for this blog! woohoo...
BUH-bye
1:12 pm
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
aidi makes me so high today!! woohoo!! haha... she make me wanan go japan.... she makes me crazy....
okay... b4 anybody thinks wrongly... aidi makes me high bcoz of e VCDS!! yes!!
aidi... u better burn quickly for me.. i cannot take it le.. hearing u TOK n not letting me SEE it...
fuck off u big bai chi... yesterday specially went out to meet up with edwin.. i missed him so much n i reckon i wun b able to c him after he start his NS life... 3 whole months without him.... i sort of think tat we shld try to spend as much time together as possible... happily sang our hearts out at kbox... so many of "our songs"... at e end when we got tired... we juz on the stereo n watched all e mtvs... and then...
we quarrelled... like so usual...
he juz said "let's go", paid for bill and we went off... silent e whole way...
at nite... he juz msged me "home?" n i replied "yar..."
silent again.. so sick of quarrelling with him...
BUH-bye
4:44 pm
Monday, August 29, 2005
mummy's birthday today... creative enough to buy her kelly poon's single... her newest idol leh... she's so happy when she saw it.. my mum's still young at heart... *grinz*...
We quarrel.. we patch up... we quarrel.. we patch up... its always e same old thing...
i have to fight battles every single day u noe... its tiring...
wel.. its okay... kid's stuff.. i cn still take it... afterall.. its kid's stuff...
BUH-bye
9:26 pm
Sunday, August 28, 2005
i have been taught n reminded umpteen times to IGNORE IT... okay... it will b exactly wat im doing...
however... my relationship problems is none of ur business...
so?
juz fuck off..
BUH-bye
8:46 pm
Saturday, August 27, 2005
quarrelled with edwin today
i was upset tat he's not here for me yesterday and today.. i THINK he's upset tat im upset n e fact tat some guy say he wanna send food to my house. EXCUSE ME~! i asked him whether he wanna eat with me or not lar! he's e one tat gave me alot of excuses... idiot...
but today went cycling with JY.. woah~! its e first time i cycled till im so tired.. completely tired out... haha.. but its very fun! we thought east coast goes ard in a circle.. unfortunately... its in a straight line n we ended up at e main road...
the worse thing is.. none of us got cash on us... n e nearest atm machine was spoilt... we wanted to buy something to cool us down n in e end we managed to scrap out $1.20 for two popsicles... believe it or not.. i havent licked mine for even 2 mouth b4 the stick broke n my ice-cream dropped on to e floor... suey arh...
BUH-bye
7:25 pm
Friday, August 26, 2005
to e two girls who tagged at my board: i will do juz tat..
to the unknown: thnx u so muhc for e encouragement.. its juz tat.. some pple have more flaws.. haha.. and im one of em i guess.. =)..
deleted some tags from my board.. hmm... coz getting scolded so no pt showing it to e whole world... haha...
BUH-bye
8:22 pm
Thursday, August 25, 2005
haha.... FOM got warning letter le.. cannot skip liao... >_<... so sad... haha... unless nxt time i go get m/c... =P... aiyar.. expected.. saw it yesterday tat my lecture de record not very nice.. haha... coz i always skip mah.. then got nobody help me mark attendance.. haha... im so naughty... aiyar.. cnt help it... when so many pple late im oso e onli one whose attendance was nt marked... im a onli LATE one when im even earlier than some... nvm... its their job... i juz gotta take note myself... =)...
often now in class i still feels upset n leftout... pple maintains their anger u noe.. haix.. "things will get better eventually"... tats wat everybody tells me... when is 'eventually'? i dunno... its like so far away... then i jux realised how pple in our class bcame so close... oh well.. except me lar... the one on e outside... still havent got real frenz in class... someone tat i wanted to tok to abt everything... no one... everyone got someone... but not me.. =)... oh well... if onli i cn bring things back to e past.. where we were all so happy.. haix.. remembered having so muhc funny watching movies.. gossiping... takeing photos.. going to weijie's hse in e past.. its gone.. all gone... i goes home straight after sch everyday... i dun have a life with em anymre... its like... an xtra...
oh well.. it juz leads back to e same solution.. isnt it? learn to fight loneliness n i will live...
BUH-bye
8:15 am
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
edwin going army le.. so sian...
a big happy birthday to IFAH!!! pretty babe.. i love u so much... lol.... hope u r always happy.. =)
BUH-bye
2:07 pm
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
today was an okay day... juz slightly quiet.. as long as i get used to e silence.. everything will b alrite... =)...
BUH-bye
7:46 pm
im contended..
BUH-bye
1:17 am
Sunday, August 21, 2005
I was just flipping through my old, old diary which I kept when I was 11. Seriously speaking, there was no point in that diary. It was a whole lot of junk memories involving 50 cents chicken rice, nuggets, the everyday-must-have fake birdnest drink, quarrels and love. It was like turning back time and indulging myself into those wonderful memories when we were so innocent, we hardly knows what's hatred. Quarrels on that day, ends that day. By the next morning, we will be playing a fool like nothing has happened.
Gradually, we grew up. We started to get involved in bullying. There was a lot of tears, shoutings and complains. Yet, nobody has never said they do not want to be friends with another. Relationships then, was a wonder.
Young we might be, love starts coming into the scene. Mind you, not the friendship love or family love. The love between a boy and a girl. But then again, who understands love at such a young age? Then the new term comes in. "Puppy Love". Rumours started flying soon enough. V likes D, X and C likes each other, DJ likes G but G only likes DJ after DJ does not like G anymore, X and CR likes Z at the same time, H and L are very compatible. My class's girls are always linked to the guys of class G. It was a bond that we could not understand. Maybe because we were friends for so long. Maybe its the way God works.
The time for seperation soon came. Everybody have to go on their own way in life. Diaries were filled with little entries of love. Nobody cried on that day but we are know how upset each other was. Its just that nobody wants to be reminded of that cruel fact. Yet, as we seperated on our way home, tears rolled down our cheeks. The crying came, inevitably.
After that day, the writing stops.
Anyway, here's a result of my English test. I'm not that bad afterall. *wink*
BUH-bye
8:48 pm
yar rite.. juz tok abt killing distractions... then i ended up returning home at 3pm last nite n not helping in the ICP project de surveys.... great... then i got WJ pissed off with me as well... as if i dun have enough pple in class pissed off with me... "screw the irresponsible one"... "irresponsibility will get you nowhere"... *waves hand n pointing to myself*... i noe wat u guys mean...
yesterday sitting in uncle's car... i suddenly quieten down and thought: hey... if i cn open the door of this speeding car and jump out.. i cn jux die! c how easy death is? e thing is.. i cant bring myself to do it.. true... im having a hard life now ( joanne: u created this urself)... but if im really going to die.. i noe somewhere there will b somebody upset over it... and the last thing i wanna do is to upset those tat still loves me...
in e end wat i did was to have a good talk with my best fren in my sch, SY... i told her that if there is nth i cn do to change the situation and the impression of pple in my class have of me... its going to b a miserable 3 years of life for me.. if tat is the case... y not just leave? i can always waste one year and sign up for NP's mass comm or FSV... then i will have a new life... but tat will b running away...
SY told me: there's no point
i dunno... i dunno how to handle the situation at all... i dunno wat i cn do... but i noe i will not b given the chance to do anything.. an opinion is fixed n its difficult to change... i noe it very well... not like i havent dislike anyone up to this point of life...
oh well.. taking one step at a time... i will pull myself together... i will learn to live in loneliness..
BUH-bye
3:49 pm
Saturday, August 20, 2005
here's a thank u to regina: for making me realise tat i HAVE been slacking.. in fact.. not really doing much work... hmm... i apologize to my grp members... will spend mre time on projects lar.. its time i get rid of all distractions...
BUH-bye
3:54 pm
Friday, August 19, 2005
today is not any better than yesterday... onli had a sore throat yesterday... over the night, headache n flu has developed... poor me.. stuck at home.. but i wanna go sch!! sian...
i wish he's here now to take care of me... i miss him horribly in times like this... his gentleness n sweetness... =)...
anyway... HOW E HELL DID E WEILIAN GET IN?? plz lar!!! junyang is soooooooo much better... i used to hate pple saying him lar... but now he got so far.. i oso think e votes r pity votes le... ohmygod.. poor junyang... so sad... *sniffs*.... i'll support kelly!! kelly muz win weilian... hmph...
BUH-bye
12:21 pm
Thursday, August 18, 2005
sick today n so i stayed at home.. going to e doc later... throat feeling horrible... cnt even talk... when i try to speak.. a croak comes out... feeling so weak...
sad tat today is e day when we hand in our DTP project tat we struggled so much for... n i cnt b there to witness the final product tat is handed in to Doris Nga... haix...
okay.. another topic: fine... go ahead... treat me like transparent.. I DUN CARE! (little joanne: actually, if u blog this, it shows tat u care)... wateva...
project superstar coming to an end soon.. i muz admit.. i wan kelly to win!!! coz she sings nicely n she's pretty... =)... e xinhui singing is nice lar.. but then rite... she's not pretty... not a pleasure to e eye.. haha...
BUH-bye
11:40 am
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
is the english language so impt? i mean.. this is juz a blog.. i dun think there is a need for perfect english...
to pple who had left tags on my board: i do noe who u guys r n i really dunno wat did i do such tat i will have to get this treatment from u guys but its okay...
BUH-bye
11:02 am
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
replying to annonymous: no.. i dun like Jon... =).. Jon is a fren of mine in sch..
replying to erm: yeah.. i noe my english is horrible esp grammar.. sorry... i cnt help it.. its a major flaw in my language since young...
replying to stumped: actually i have no idea as well..
BUH-bye
11:08 pm
i went out with edwin today... for barely an hour.. coz i was late due to project n he had to leave for his darts com.. i was kind of pissed through e thing.. i mean.. he keep emphasizing on e fact of e singing thing n he noes it hurting me hard enough!
he then told me e news tat he will b singing in a singers' cafe soon.. win le lor.. he rather sing to strangers than me... actually.. its really NOT abt e singing.. is e fact tat im equivalent to strangers... or mayb even lower than tat... it hurts u noe... horribly...
he said it was because i told him to shut up n said he's irritating... oh well.. if u r living in an environment tat i used to live in, i cnt exactly say im a fan of.. erm... casual singing... come on lar.. i used to b in a class where a girl (who sang horribly btw) tried to sing to me everyday... and i have a stupid sister who sang at e top of her lungs no matter she's in e shower or bedroom n wldnt shut up when i tell her to... cn u imagine if u have endure another person's singing? oh well.. at least not until when u realised this guy's singing is good.. okay.. then it turned out too late...
anyway.. i apologized again n again n i dunno whether he's really hurt or offended or jux plain stubborn but he's really determined never to sing in my prescence again.. he doesnt even wan to tell me where he will b singing at..
i dunno y lar.. tears jux fell.. i was shocked... im crying! Joanne Yeo Xin Le is crying over such a stupid thing! i dunno wat it means... its e fact tat im cryin... i thought i wld nv cry again after weikang.. oh well.. i guessed im wrong...
shit.. im crying again...
BUH-bye
10:44 pm
Monday, August 15, 2005
i dunno wats going on lar!!! he lost his sweetness... i think i irritates him... wat the hell!!! wat are we? are we frenz? boyfren girlfrenz? i guess lynn's term did come in handy.... "dates but not steads".. tats exactly where we r at... so.. am i free to date other guys? i really thought i made things easy for u... but i cannot say tat i felt nth.. wat the hell.. wat ever lar! relationships are so fucking stupid... bcoz im confused...
i'll start breaking down anytime...
BUH-bye
9:13 pm
today de lesson is from 3-5pm! ITB! at first dun wanna go de but i owe Jon his notes... so i cannot dun go... cannot harm Jon.. haha.. Jon! c! i soooooo nice to u.... muahahahaha.....
dunno leh... sometimes i think im irritating to edwin.. oh well... i'll try to control.. but i dunno whether im still impt to him... i miss him... *blush*
going out with edwin tml to buy new slippers.. both my slippers spoil le.. wat the.. haix.. so suey.. my shoes love spoiling.. haha... hmm... i wanna hear edwin sing!!! haha.. but it doesnt matter.. he doesnt visits my blog.. bah~! haha...
ICP project n FOM r due soon.. sorry to my fellow grp members for being irresponsible n nt completin my work.. haix.. i really need my own com.. this wun do.. i cnt continue fighting with my sister for e com... but i dun dare ask mum n dad for one.. i mean.. we really aint tat well-off..
BUH-bye
1:08 pm
Friday, August 12, 2005
went to a boring sch day at SP (as usual for a friday as it is FOM lecture AND tutorial ONLY).. didnt go anywhere... sis is having her frenz at home now for stay over.. wateva.. as long as i get my bed..
reading a novel titled "4 Blondes" by Candace Bushnell, author of Sex And The City. Ok, yes, i admit, it full of sex and life but hey! surprisingly, its meaningful... its seperated into 4 short stories.. jux completed 1... haha.. going to read more soon..
e first story is abt this B-rated but gorgeous model who have no aim in life. ever summer, she would find some rich man to have sex with and live in their summer house for the rest of the summer and drive their cars. It was finally after a logn time she realise she needed to do something with her life. Read it.. its meaningful... oh.. tat is as long as u dun concentrate on the sex part..
ifah's lending me harry potter and the half-blood prince... hooray!!
BUH-bye
10:51 pm
Thursday, August 11, 2005
now at DTP.. had a hard time draggin myself outta bed today... im so tired out.. i need sleep!!! mayb i'll skip ICP lecture to go home n sleep today.. sian lar.... *yawnz*
sometimes i wonder wat give pple e idea tat so-n-so is ur gf or bf? i mean, come on lar.. u didnt even ask e person n u jux assume... going out once or twice with u doest mean im interested lar... so y do u bother when i date other pple? y make a big fuss when u saw me with someone else yesterday? im not ur gf lar.. plz get this clear.. im single...
anyway.. when things changes.. they changes...
BUH-bye
8:18 am
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
lost my file.. didnt noe i left it in e washroom or e lib.. its at neither place.. i wonder wats e chance of me getting it back.... my file..!! n there's so many personal things inside.. all e junk i wrote on my notepad... wat the... n all my FOM notes... argh.. y am i so careless?? i wanna cry lar... ='(
BUH-bye
1:28 pm
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
i dunno wats gotten over me bcoz i so went over my own limits...in fact... i almoz forgotten wats limit...
wat am i? who am i? wat r u? n who r u?
BUH-bye
8:47 pm
Saturday, August 06, 2005
edwin's really nice.. im confortable ard him... but then... i juz cnt afford to get hurt again.. i dun wanna a relationship tat ends quickly...
n e worst is... i dunno wat im thinking... im confused.. bah.. wateva...
BUH-bye
12:30 am
Thursday, August 04, 2005
There are days that hurt my heart so bad,
And times when I cant sleep through the night,
All because im thinking of you,
And wanting you to hold me tight,
But when im around you im not myself,
I'll tell you the truth,
If you ask me who I want, I dont want anybody else,
I wish I could tell you how I feel,
But words just cant explain what is true,
I cant make you like me at all,
But I still wont give up on you...
*Courtesy from ZhiXuan's blog*
BUH-bye
9:59 am
how long have i not blog? lol... i think its onli a few days but it feels so long.. guess im used to bloggin... haha..
life lately got nth happen lar... boring life... >_<...
gonna go dinner with edwin these 2 days...
yesterday got back japanese test de results.. suckz... stupid Lianhe... score so well...
BUH-bye
8:13 am
Monday, August 01, 2005
today saw jietian... oh well.. we chat like usual.. im always so comfortable ard him.. like e first time we meet... some 1 year back.. =)...
XXX is feelin horrible.. it pains me to c him like tat...
BUH-bye
7:46 pm