|The Dancing Loner|

Joanne
22nd feburary 1988
captive at SP DMC
when i'm in a bad mood, fuck off

|Cant Get Enough|

`Samuel and Kevin
`Adidas
`dance
`dogs
`crapping
`manicure
`dark chocolate
`ice-cream
`oreo cheesecake
`bananas
`soft toys

|Absent From Her Life|

*$2000 for taiwan trip*
* $3500 for Japan trip *
* slimming down n maintaining it *
* Endless clothes from Topshop, Zara, Mango etc *
* Nice bag *
* A little doggie (NO Jack Russells please) *
* A concert ticket to NEWS concert *
* 1TB Hard-drive *
*Ipod Touch*
*Yukata*
*Sony Vaio VGN-FJ78GP/B*

|Dance Tune|

|The Important|

-----------------------------
(",) Sakae Wheelock
-----------------------------
ruiping
chuyun
huji
xueli
kia fang
wheehong
jian guo
gabriel

-----------------------------
(",) BPGHS
-----------------------------
pameela
siimynn
sara
ally
lynnie
grace
liling
audrey
zaki
leo

-----------------------------
(",) SP DMC 05
-----------------------------
regina
weijie
jonathan
zhili
kaymiang
nicole
carolyn
ifah
shaun
weheartshaun

-----------------------------
(",) SP DMC 05 (LJs)
-----------------------------
zhili
nicole
kmiang
nad
regina
weijie
weheartshaun

-----------------------------
(",) SP DMC Jrs
-----------------------------
mervyn
dominic aka weipin
mizah
mahirah

-----------------------------
(",) ADP 6K'ers
-----------------------------
carina
connie
debbie
eric
eugene

-----------------------------
(",) Uncle Vincent's
-----------------------------
aidi
val
mindi
marine
maisie
nikky

-----------------------------
(",) Mediacorp
-----------------------------
row
samantha
nat
pinghui

-----------------------------
(",) Others
-----------------------------
ng
jinwen
gaddafy
tze shweng
huida
hweeting
rubez
poh ying
ryu
eastyle wretch
eastyle yahoo
ahdi
energy
zhi yong

-----------------------------
(",) Redirecting
-----------------------------
hotmail
gmail
yahoo
facebook
youtube
friendster
hi5
singapore polytechnic

|Forgottened|

January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
December 2009
February 2010
August 2010

i was reading aidi's blog n remembered tt she got into e degree prog of NAFA after finishing her diploma...

then i started thinking of my own future..

guess wat? one word: BLUR..

i noe wat i wan actually.. its juz whether i cn attain it.. with my bloody sucky results..

n i really wan to go to taiwan to continue my studies.. e thing is.. i really cnt bear to give up wat i had in singapore.. all my frens n all.. how cn i leave em? i dunno how am i gonna pluck up all e strength n promise myself tt i will b determined n go.. bcoz its for my future.. ahhhhhh.. insanity~!!!!!!!!!

for my dear girl:

失恋后，我们总爱问:
“我怎样可以忘记他？我很想忘记他，但我就是没法忘记他。”
如果没法忘记他，就不要忘记好了。
为什么要那么痛苦地去忘记一个人？时间自然会让你忘记他。
现在，我请你干万别想着一头粉红色的大笨象。
请问，你想到的是什么？
你立刻就想到一头粉红色的大笨象了。

你愈努力想去忘记，你愈是无法忘记。
仍然爱着他，忘不了他，是理所当然的事，不必觉得惭愧。
有些人明明忘不了，却自欺欺人说：
“我已经忘了他。”
然而，只要别人一提起他，她就无法控制自己。
有一天，你会忘记他的。
真正的忘记，是不需要努力的。有一天，你从浴室洗了一个澡出来，扭开唱机听听自己喜欢的音乐，你忽尔想起，你曾经爱过一个人，啊，原来你爱过这个人，那仿佛是很遥远的事，你已经一点感觉也没有了。这就是忘记。
有一天，别人提起某某，你才猛然想起，你曾经爱过这个人，现在已经不记得了。这就是忘记。

如果时间不可以令你忘记那些不该记住的人，我们失去的岁月又有什么意义？

its still hard to adjust to timetable.. its been some time since my life was so... disciplined.. lol.. have to wake up almost everyday at e same time.. n its like 7am.. = =+.. guess e time i sleep at?? if this continues, im juz gonna flop n die.. lol..

projs r all crashing down already... briefs r given out, deadlines r told n we have to really get to work soon.. i dun wan to waste e $64000 budget tt SMRT will give us to do a campaign for em.. even though e money will NV reach me... =(... i cn onli place hopes on e $2500 prize money..

hey, zhili, nad, gajan. ifah, jon.. we gonna get this ok? lol.. coz im BROKE~~

oh jinwen gonna b in e NDP parade this year.. i wan e tickets!!!! lol...

n i really think tt i shld start getting healthy.. i think my body is like shit...

im realli pissed at myself for giving a full day of work on saturday.. now i cnt attend val's bdae stuff.. n i really wan to go coz i hadnt seen aidi they all ever since e last time i was stupid enough to get cheated by em over e phone.. hahah.. met em up at indoor stadium later on.. wat a meeting place.. haha..

psssss... wanna wait for me till 11pm after i end work? lol..

n my best fren had to meet my boyfren on e bus today.. damn crap.. seriously, i swear both of em hadnt had any good feelings towards each other.. i dunno... i think if he sees her, he'll get reminded of it all.. hahah... wat doesnt benefits ME at all.. !@#$%^&... pt in fact...

i miss camp.. i really do...

its freaking surprising tt i will miss e scouts n guides but i DO.. e good old camping days tt we have.. it was nth but fun.. sleeping under e starry sky.. sweating it out n cooking our own meals.. juz life as a grp.. wat cn b better? i miss all those days..

n campfires.. juz everyone gathering together n sing songs, dance n performed.. everyone laughed n had fun.. we juz forget everything.. going crazy n all.. n e super enthu scouts.. yinhao n eirfan they all.. who r always ready to come up with something new.. even G5 camp... scouts n guides always steals e show.. dun we? *grinz*..

cn we turn e time turner to go back?

damn.. mthly event hurts..

i was chatting with my korkor adrian e other day n he's still together with shijia.. woah.. going on strong.. 2 years plus le leh.. shocking.. hahah.. still remember tt time nv expect em to get together.. but hey! this is cool man..

then we talked abt eileen n chien kai.. my god.. 7 or 8 years le.. plz hor.. this kind is will get married kind lar.. wah seh.. fairytales exist..

my gosh.. tt seems so far away for me.. one year is already difficult for me le leh...

oh my.... plz let my relationship with my stupid last long long...

now im convinced.. n i'll nv doubt again.. bcoz i noe.. when one day i really needs u..

u'll b there..

thnx u my boy..

to my dearest girl whom i love:

u r strong.. u will b.. u have been.. he'll not get u down like u thought he wld.. wat's past.. let it pass... i noe i'll nv b able to b ur guardian angel e way u did for me.. i cn onli sit with u n listen, lends u a shoulder when u need one, tells u wat i think...

but u need to walk out of this urself.. u've fallen in love.. eventually, everybody has to learn to get out of it too.. bcoz.. failure in love comes to everyone.. n everyone gets hurt...

but guess wat? u've got us.. all of us.. we'll help u out of it.. trust urself.. one day, u'll b able to look back at it all.. n face it with a smile.. bcoz.. u have loved b4..

yours,
e irritant tt'll nv let u go.. =)

i thought im gonna cry e shit out of myself today but i didnt.. y not? coz i cnt do it with response on e other side.. = =+..

but.. we shld b ok.. he juz have to stop being too occupied..

i'll slowly turn things back... bcoz he still cares..

i felt like i juz came back from north pole.. i felt i was talkin to a zombie.. i felt i was wasting my efforts.. everyone tells me to give up.. stupidly, i wun..

i juz wans him to tell me tt he still wans this all..

it might juz b too much for him..

i've been holding on to my diet rules for 2 days b4 i decide tt i will not torture myself since i wun b able to continue it anyway.. i've got a seoul garden session coming up tml after sch.. *grinz*.. so wats e pt? n my hse has got tons of ice-cream waiting for me to finish..

diet? wait till i finish everything..

(psst.. tts probably nxt week)

n i went to a funeral today of someone tt i hadnt seen at all but is apparently, very close in relations to me.. i've nv seen anybody of tt family.. n im beginning to think how disrespectful some pple cn get.. for god's sake.. show e deceased some respect..

oh.. have u seen a 14 year old trying to pick up a 19 year old? its funny.. really.. n how insensitive some pickup lines cn b.. like "didnt u attended ur grandma's funeral? how come i dun remember seeing u?"

fuck u... i was there 72 hrs non stop.. probably bcoz i cried till my eyes bloated.. or mayb its bcoz my braces werent taking effect then.. wateva.. shut ut mouth up n use ur common sense..

really.. kids nowadays..

seriously.. it irritates me to noe tt i attract guys younger than me.. bcoz i DUN date guys younger than me.. n some cn get quite cute too.. so its bloody irritating..

today, a 14 year old tried to noe me.. n wldnt blive it when i told him im 19.. how surprising.. ohmygosh...

i wan older guys please.. =)..

oh.. jinwen was nice today.. i told him i was upset n he called me up n sacrificed 1/2 hr of his precious sleep time in NS to chat with me n take my mind off things.. thnx guy.. =)..

To my dear stupid,

i really do like u.. i dun use love for i feel tt it is too big a word.. no doubt though, i liked u like i nv liked anyone else b4.. it has never changed.. neither have i changed.. but u did, didnt u? or is it tt u r juz too busy to b urself?

u have always been busy..

i miss e boy tt i got together with my bdae..e boy tt loves calling me his silly.. e boy tt wanted to come down n meet me juz bcoz it was my bdae despite u being sick.. e boy tt told me not to worry too much even if all my hair drops out coz u'll b there to take care of me.. e boy tt stroked my face with gentleness n looked at me with those pained eyes bcoz i told u my braces hurts... e boy tt finds me on msn juz to ask me whether i missed him.. e boy tt told me tt he doesnt mind me irritating him for e rest of my life..

where is tt boy? i didnt c him recently.. my msges were nv returned lately.. u seem so far away..

u didnt wan a break up but u told me to stop waiting coz e wait is endless.. u dunno when will u stop being busy.. i'll wait u noe.. i really will.. as long as i noe i'll get my dear stupid back.. silly is silly, remember? so she'll wait..

u say i'll nv b able to b part of ur life.. but y? isnt ur partner supposed to b part of it? or having a gf is nv part of ur life? its something u cn do without? it hurts when u said tt.. do u noe? i felt like my heart has been torn apart..

but u care.. dun u? u still like me.. dun u?

cn u give it a try for once n let me in? let me into ur life n let me noe wats going on.. learn to accept to have someone to share something with u.. learn to make time for tt special girl.. u'll have to learn eventually, dun u? u wun really stay single forever will u? please dun.. coz i wldnt noe to b with then..

my boy, i'll wait.. for e day tt u've decided tt u r ready.. ready to let me into ur life.. ready to open up ur heart to ur girl.. mayb one day i'll stop waiting like u asked me to.. i dunno how long it will b.. but remember.. if one day if i ever stopped waiting.. it juz means tt i gave up hope..

but i'll still be liking u..

n u'll still b e one tt i liked most in my life.. irreplacable by anyone else..

Yours,
silly girl..

ohmygod.. i wan new phone!! but my plan onli expires in DECEMBER.. wtf? lol.. i wan i wan i wan... i wan my nokia 7390 in black chrome... or N73 music edition!!

awww...

well pple, if u ever felt like u cldnt understand me.. dun worry abt it.. coz i cnt understand myself either..

n here's something sweet..

Girl: Do i ever cross ur mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: Not really
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Choose--me or ur life
Boy: my life

The girl runs away in shock and pain,and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is
because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is
because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is
because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is
because I will die if you leave.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is
because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is
because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because
YOU ARE MY LIFE.