|The Dancing Loner|

Joanne
22nd feburary 1988
captive at SP DMC
when i'm in a bad mood, fuck off

|Cant Get Enough|

`Samuel and Kevin
`Adidas
`dance
`dogs
`crapping
`manicure
`dark chocolate
`ice-cream
`oreo cheesecake
`bananas
`soft toys

|Absent From Her Life|

*$2000 for taiwan trip*
* $3500 for Japan trip *
* slimming down n maintaining it *
* Endless clothes from Topshop, Zara, Mango etc *
* Nice bag *
* A little doggie (NO Jack Russells please) *
* A concert ticket to NEWS concert *
* 1TB Hard-drive *
*Ipod Touch*
*Yukata*
*Sony Vaio VGN-FJ78GP/B*

|Dance Tune|

|The Important|

-----------------------------
(",) Sakae Wheelock
-----------------------------
ruiping
chuyun
huji
xueli
kia fang
wheehong
jian guo
gabriel

-----------------------------
(",) BPGHS
-----------------------------
pameela
siimynn
sara
ally
lynnie
grace
liling
audrey
zaki
leo

-----------------------------
(",) SP DMC 05
-----------------------------
regina
weijie
jonathan
zhili
kaymiang
nicole
carolyn
ifah
shaun
weheartshaun

-----------------------------
(",) SP DMC 05 (LJs)
-----------------------------
zhili
nicole
kmiang
nad
regina
weijie
weheartshaun

-----------------------------
(",) SP DMC Jrs
-----------------------------
mervyn
dominic aka weipin
mizah
mahirah

-----------------------------
(",) ADP 6K'ers
-----------------------------
carina
connie
debbie
eric
eugene

-----------------------------
(",) Uncle Vincent's
-----------------------------
aidi
val
mindi
marine
maisie
nikky

-----------------------------
(",) Mediacorp
-----------------------------
row
samantha
nat
pinghui

-----------------------------
(",) Others
-----------------------------
ng
jinwen
gaddafy
tze shweng
huida
hweeting
rubez
poh ying
ryu
eastyle wretch
eastyle yahoo
ahdi
energy
zhi yong

-----------------------------
(",) Redirecting
-----------------------------
hotmail
gmail
yahoo
facebook
youtube
friendster
hi5
singapore polytechnic

|Forgottened|

January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
December 2009
February 2010
August 2010

got scolded at work by ernest for something tat was slightly unfair.. dun wan to tok abt it.. but understand ernest too stressed coz got customer complain.. but like how i understand him, i thought ernest wld understand us too.. apparently not.. sad n disappointed in him...

new eye candy.. enough to make chuyun n me go gaga... eh chuyun, we go for same type of guys sia? lolz... cannot let u go near jinwen.. haha...

awww.. 2 bad news in one day... how sad..

yvonne broke up with wilson.. argh.. wilson initiated it.. damn tat guy.. to think he liked yvonne for 1 year b4 yvonne said yes n now he dumps her... dun even noe y coz yvonne was very upset while telling me today.. awww.. i hope she's alrite..

something really really bad happened to my best fren.. awwwww... we'll walk throught his together k? there's bound to b a solution n i really hope, if possible, dun go overseas!! i already lost my sister to taiwan so i dun wan to lose u to australia or canada or US or UK or wheresoeva.. k?

on e other hand, happy birthday to my dearest mummy!! awww.. old woman le.. haha.. went to sakae eat today.. eh.. i felt weird but nvm...

was working full today n it was super tiring.. thnx goodness got chuyun, huji n kiafang together with me.. but nearing e end, my energy was so drained tat i was dragging myself ard n i thought it was pretty obvious coz everybody noticed my sudden drop in energy.

break was at 4pm with chuyun n we sat at table 24 with ernest.. he was workin lar.. dotz.. then jason came n find us at 4.30pm.. rich kid take cab here..

was at belt 1 all e way today n belt got alot of weird smells today.. haha.. from sweat smell to medication smell to perfume smell.. = =+.. disgusting.. then today ALOT OF BIBINBA!! i so worried chuyun will break her arm lar.. lolz..

then Mr Loh came to eat today!! whaha.. then he at belt 1.. so long nv c him le!! teacher's day muz go back wor!!

ruiping came to find us at closing to go supper while jason came back from bukit timah to sup with us oso.. lolz..

tml working at 12 with chuyun then we go watch Monster House! wahaha...

i went to a gathering of the Singapore Soka Association (SSA) today, situated at Eunos (not the HQ but someone's apartment). I was brought there by Jinwen, in hope of trying to search for faith, beliefs, hope and something that i can rely on. It was pretty cool with all the youngsters and all and i saw something going on tat i wld onli expect to c in a temple or a place of similar values. Haha, ignorance.

Basically, they do not really do prayers (i think, im not too sure) but they do chanting. This verse tats repeated over n over again. seriously, i was quite shocked initially but not for long. it has a calming effect even if u dun chant it urself but listen to others, it makes u feel how united beliefs n faith has brought these pple n how every single one of em is kind n nice, all thankz to e teachings of this religion.

Then there was this time for testimonials n pple share their incident on how faith brought them through and there is this lady who gave birth to a pre-mature baby and had a very hard time bcoz e baby was in high danger. Thank goodness they went through everything n e baby is perfectly fine. I've seen her n she's adorable, though a bit small still.

then there's Mrs Heng who really inspired me. Perhaps because i was sitting on a chair (others were sitting on e floor) and i was a newcomer, Mrs Heng focused mostly on me during her sharing time. She looked directly into my eye n every word pierced my heart. She was talking abt cancer. It brought me hope, knowing someone went through something similar n recovered from it. it makes me wonder whether jinwen told her abt my situation, whether she noes everything. bcoz she seems to. she reminds of my own grandma who passed away 2 years ago.. and i miss her alot..

jinwen's brother, wayne, looked very much like him, esp e height n e voice. mayb he'll catch up. he's still young.

jinwen dance today n its a long time since i saw him danced. even if its a very simple one. really simple.

jinwen was not with me most e time coz he's busy with e pple there n with e performance n all. he's a leader there i think. quite cool. but thanx for staying bside me during e testimonial times, vid time n encouraging me.. =)...

i think jinwen is an angel brought to me by someone, giving me hope, faith n relief. i really think so. thank goodness he's here.

exam's finally finished n now cn enjoy myself le!! woohoo!!

cnt wait for tml 7pm to come.. arh...

wahaha.. due to exams, im going to get a Haato treat from ruiping (can we go when e cute guy is working? haha) n a prezzie from jason.. haha... but of coz, i rather NOT have exams than to have these...

jason's coming back to sakae on sunday after quiting sakae for a period of time.. juz to c us.. *beams*... nice guy.. e onli guy in kitchen i like i think...

for ruiping's info: its e kitchen's jason.. NOT E SERVICE CREW one.. e service crew one oso wun so nice buy me present lor...

i have decided not to like any kitchen staff le.. as in normal like lar... argh.. dun ask me y... ask ruiping.. lolz..

yeah~~ tml is e last day for exams.. then after tat cn chiong work le wor!! haha.. GREAT!! then cn play, have fun, plan chalet, go out, earn money n do alot of shit EXCEPT FOR STUDYING!!! heaven sia.. haha...

i seriously need still go stuffs to buy.. very long nv shop le leh.. wahlao.. i miss life n spending money lor.. damn it...

ah.. blog change new song le!! this song is a song by Yuki Masuyama (plz scroll down to c who he is)..

i still remembered tat for a period of time, he was my idol coz i loved this song, esp e lyrics.. haha.. it used to make me cry.. so i went all out to find it n i did! unfortunately, i cannot load e entire song up here so make do by listening to part of e song bah! haha.. i still love e chorus wor...

then he had another song oso n i was so shocked coz e moment e music starts, i can actually sing to it! cnt blive i remembered sia.. ahha.. but his singing technique not very good arh...

n i heard tat he bcame an interior designer although still got act abit nowadays..

sakae chalet is coming!! i cnt wait.. wahahah...

ruiping, stop spilling my secrets.. hahaha

a clean breakup is very important.. i swear...

zZzz.. today work with pple like huji, chuyun, ruiping, kiafang n pam.. huji n me in belt 1.. wahahha... bliss... then leeping cannot take it le coz we keep toking.. ahhaha... chuyun n ruiping runner lor! xiang qin xiang ai.. hhahahhaha

thank you, boy...

thank you for being there n listen to me... i havent speak to anyone abt this for a long time...
thank you for teaching me to believe... to have faith...
thank you for caring.. its all i ask of u..
thank you for keep me company... even if its online...
thank you for being u... ur effects on me is a wonder...

remember i tell u abt needing to find my source of strength?

actually, i do have it.. its juz whether it will b given...

my source of strength is u... plz walk through this with me...

thank you...

arh.. i knew jinwen is poor.. i noe jinwen's family got alot of financial stuff to handle.. i noe jinwen poor until tat time my bdae need to borrow money.. haiz... *heartache*

now his phoneline has been cut off temporarily by his suscriber as he cannot pay up for his bills...

arh.. jinwen arh... now he muz wait for his paycheck.. aiyo.. i super heartache leh.. piangz...

on e otherhand.. on a complete different tone... dickson is a bastard.. haha.. coz he say i not pretty.. damn him.. ui noe im not pretty... dun have to imply it so hard then say it out loud rite? stupid bastard... nvm.. u oso not handsome.. ahhahaha

seriously man... i was lookin back at my old entries n i think i shld juz go n die... i really dun wanna study.. im seriously unhappy.. cn i go? no.. my parents will kill me for wasting 2 years of my education.. in their mind, i'll juz b useless if i didnt follow e regular road of studies.. they already hated it when i opted for poly instead of JC.. n nw im going to tell em i regret it? tat i wanna leave n change everything? they'll juz slap me across my face, i think..

went to e lib in e afternoon to study with ruiping.. im trying to memorise LSC while she's studying for e retaking of her english O's.. i did study a little but e rest of e time was dedicated to gossips n crap.. arh... wat e two of us r best at.. *grinz*.. she then went to orchard to meet her frens while i stayed in e lib to continue studying then saw ifah.. lolz... stayed till ard 8 pluz b4 i chiong home.. was having a horrible cold in e stupid lib..

mayb i shld tell myself to bear with this for another 1 n 1/2 years b4 i cn get out of it all.. not a bad idea... or mayb i cn get myself retained.. HUH! i will like to c e looks on my parents' face... mayb they will throw me out of e hse.. awwww.. who cares... they will take me back... if i dun wan to study, nobody cn force me..

im so sick of taking e usual route.. so sick of everything.. now i envy dickson.. quit sch n wait for NS.. but then again, im not a guy so i dun have e option of signing on with e army.. damn it..

i've got fever @ 38.0 degrees!! damn.. sicko machio..

tml muz start studyin le.. hai.. poor pity me..

6th sep.. wats gonna happen?

was supposed to work dinner onli but ended up having a full shift coz covering up for wanxian.. lolz... then super tired lor... but fun lor.. coz got kiafang n xueli to accompany me for lunch.. then shuaige, didi n huji appeared during dinner.. wahaha... so it was a super fun day...

had break with kiafang n xueli then dajie came n join us.. haha.. all had fastfood at BK.. the kiafang lar!! tat sotong chose a freezin corner.. dunno wat she thinkin.. lolz...

tml going eating with e sakae peepz.. woohoo!! haha.. no work n all play.. i like!!!!! hahaha... time to relax then nxt week study le..

haiz.. exams coming... plz bless me n let me pass all..

ooi!! didi n R21, wat GEMS nxt sem huh??

i didnt go to suntec to watch him dance today.. i didnt.. n now i regret it..

they didnt make it to e finals.. but y?

not bcoz they didnt dance well
not bcoz anyone screwed up
not bcoz the dance was lousy

but bcoz patrick loo is biased against them.. wat did they do?? y does patrick loo hate em so much?? tat bastard...

i'll nv recognize him as my dance teacher again...

argh.. was on my way home with chuyun on e mrt today after a TCC session with pam, ruiping n huji... then on e mrt, me n chuyun met this eccentric uncle who seems to be talking to someone whom we cnt c.. its fucking weird.. n e worse thing? e uncle knew we were talking abt him n he said something abt us being moronic n think we shld b taught a lesson etc...

n then e uncle got off at Ang Mo Kio which is e same stop as chuyun.. but yun was ok coz i msged her after tat regarding yiqin's chalet n her last reply was at 12.20am.

n then i started to suffocate.. difficulty in breathing in which i was trying to overcome by takin deep breaths through my mouth but it feels terrible coz after tat stomach got alot of wind which means e air kind of get stuck in between...

this happens all e way until i reach near my block with happens to have a wake opposite... scary...

then all of a sudden, when i reach home, im ok! my suffocating stops... its kinda freaky n i thought of chuyun tellin me b4 if ur family got place e gods in ur hse, then those dirty things wun b able to reach ur hse.. then i juz put everything together n let my mind runs wild...

then i thought of chuyun then i msg her n asked her whether she has reached home.. she nv reply.. i freaked out n msg her to reply me asap coz im scared.. she nv reply... i called her.. she nv reply... all these happened within an hour n ten mins since she last replied me...

then i told ruiping n she freaked out today...

until this time, 2.38am, i havent reached chuyun.. i hope she's juz asleep n non-responsive to calls...

was alrite when i was at work today but i ended up with an ultra bad flu at home.. damn.. n yiqin came to my hse to reformat my com for me.. muz tat he placed a curse in my hse.. arh... yiqin brings bad luck.. lolz... (plz dun kill me, garang guni man)

work was alrite.. a little busy at e start but slacker at e end.. big boss came down to eat n it was quite cool to watch.. they were having quite different dishes from usual.. arh... lucky em.. apparently.. it was something abt franchasing.. not sure...

down with flu n i feel like dying.. argh..

傻傻地看著電腦屏幕﹐我的眼淚緩緩流下。讀著網絡小說的我﹐不知道為什麼﹐在這個時候想起了你。或許是因為在所有的故事之中﹐我看見了自己愛你的影子。有些喜歡不一定要說出來。這個﹐我很明白。我本來以為我可以忘記你﹐喜歡上別人。只差那個男生還沒有表白。可是﹐不知怎麼的﹐讀著這些故事時﹐我腦裡卻只閃過你的臉﹐你的名字。我在想﹐我會不會象小說主角那樣﹐永遠的在一旁默默愛著你﹐不讓你知道﹖其實﹐我連自己在想什麼也不太清楚。這樣等著你﹐我知道很傻。也有很多人說過﹐這樣等著﹐不值得。可是﹐就是沒有辦法放棄你。

你知道嗎﹖我很喜歡你的笑容。喜歡看膩笑著時﹐露出的虎牙。這應該是所謂的缺陷美。我不管。因為我還是喜歡。只要能夠常常看到你的笑容﹐還有什麼可以要的呢﹖

很快就要一年了。不知道你有沒有發覺過我喜歡你﹖我沒有說。但我都有在做。不是做給你看。只是希望我做的什麼都能幫助你得到快樂。只是﹐真的覺得自己很沒有用。你難過的時候我也沒有辦法安慰你﹐幫到你。我還能做什麼呢﹖

我只能在你身邊愛你一輩子。就算有一天我會和別人交往﹐結婚﹐我還是相信我最愛的會是你。

29th July 2006

had a surprise bdae party for leeping which was quite successful.. haha.. she almost scolded ruiping when ruiping off e lights.. hahah.. coz we were too slow in going in.. who ask e wind to keep blowing off e candles!! haha... then we had a crazy photo taking session.. haha.. we r SIAO!! will upload e pics shortly...

30th July 2006

had laksa with e pple.. yum yum... haha.. me, huji, chuyun n jian guo.. c lar?? jian guo keep kenna suan.. wahahah... jian guo.. we kidding onli lar.. hahah..

went to hospital to see dad who seems to b recovering with an amazing speed..

met up with dickson, after seeing dad, who lives 5 bus stops n 1 mrt station away from Outram (as i am constantly reminded).. all i did was send him a bloody foto... n then saw his bunch of frens who r pretty normal but swears alot n smokes like there's no tml.. dickson is e same with em lor.. wat the hell.. oh.. n he cn run VERY FAST... wat the hell lor... im like onli 1/2 his speed...

31st July 2006

Cute n Lucky are terminated.. apparently, Cute picked up some money on e floor outside sakae which belongs to a customer.. e customer saw Cute picking it up n thought she's going to return it to him. But Cute pocketed it n then when e customer saw it, he complained... this costed e termination of both Cute n Lucky (who seems to come in a package). n guess wat? Cute picked up onli 50 cents.. wat the heck... losing ur job for 50 cents is so not worth it..

Daddy outta e hospital today!! Hip hip hooray!! I'm so glad to see him ok.. n so glad tat mei nu's bro ok oso.. wahha..

met ah wu on e train today.. e chef who used to work at sakae... piang.. he at sentosa.. thnx goodness... felt so uncomfortable with him... bah..