Wednesday, March 26, 2008
as i was reading my sister's blog today, it makes me feel how useless i really am... i used to pride myself in my strength in languages, being able to seperate my english and chinese effectively... something which most singaporeans probably can't do... yet, i constantly pushed e fact tt my vocabulary in both languages are badly limited to e back of my head...
n it reminded me how i always seem to be chasing e shadows of my sister...
i remembered tt i was e smart one in e family, like how my mum used to say... but definitely e lazy one... my sister was bright too but much more hardworking than i was... i was never scared of a comparison with her... i mean, what was there to be scared of? i was the first in class... i was so used to getting everything right...
when my sister collected her PSLE results... she was driven to sch by e entire family as her sch was in yishun while we had already moved to woodlands... my dad n mum was very happy abt her results and she even got macdonalds (tt was a big reward back in the old days)... for mine? i remembered calling my mum, using the sch's public phone... and all i got was "i expected you to do better than that"... most of my frens would probably die to have my results back then... but hey, all i got was disappointment...
tt was e incident tt turned me into a complete different person... i refused to study in secondary sch, failed all my subjects, don't do my homework... from topping the class in pri sch, i bottomed the class every year in sec sch... neh, not really.. i still have jiawei to do e job... i was 2nd last... i wanted to show mum that if disappointment is all you gonna give me, im going to do even more of that...
lucky for me though, my 4 atrocious years in BP did not make me flunk my O's as badly as i thought it would.. i did well enough to get into a JC or any course in any poly that I would like to enter...
i was stupid though... i chose e sch tt my sister took, i even took up e same course...
then it started... everyone around us started to say how i am following in my sister's footsteps, probably admiring her for who she is... i can't remember how long i have been saying i wanted to get into mass comm... but definitely earlier than my sister... it pissed me off... i was e one with e idea first... so y is it tt e words going ard is tt im following her? just because by policy, i entered two years later than her? it upsetted me greatly bt i kept quiet... again, my education suffered badly... i dun turn up for class, i dun do tutorials... i even hardly appear at project meetings... i was worst classmate around... but then again, i got lucky... i was in e best class of e cohort, everyone warm n friendly, everyone helping me through... otherwise, i probably won't be able to attend the graduation ceremony thats going to be held soon...
now, as i have graduated, i hope to embark on the journey of pursuing a degree in Taiwan... no prize for guessing who's already there... now im again the little sister, chasing after e older one...
when will they stop it and recognize me for who i am? i am me... not just someone's sister....
BUH-bye
11:56 pm
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
our current production has got 2 kids in action...
one is Gerald, acting as Zhihao... e son of Zoe and Wenlong in the show..
another one is KangLe, acting as Rongxuan... e son of Ann and Pinghui in the show...
im closer to gerald aka haoge cause i c him mre often on set.. his favourite activity is to jump on me on n hug on to me like a koala bear.. mind you, he's a chubby 7 year old boy ok?? imagine e weight... he's super hyperactive bt very fun... we had so much fun on set all because of him... he bugs me everyday to play fist guessing games with him.. lol...
this is gerald.. see?? his size jump on me leh!! bt i felt tt it was quite ok.. hmm.. im getting stronger.. XD
this is KangLe with me n Jes... he's very adorable but relatively quiet as compared to gerald... but he gets fun e moment u noe him better... cute boy! i like his missing tooth... heard tt he will say "Mummy, I love you.." to Ann... hahahha! so cute~~~
Studio's ended.. kind of miss e life inside despite e timings being insane... but studio's got me into trouble tooo... dunno how am i gonna settle it... bt as マッス sings "なんとかなるさ、しんぱいはないさ"~~~~!
BUH-bye
1:04 am
Friday, March 07, 2008
met a cute little girl at work today... she's super attached to ahgek.. but in e end become me! wahahaha...
oh... n i broke my nail today... like... FIRST TIME EVER!! ever since i started growing nails for so long.. first time leh!!!
its fugly!!!
BUH-bye
11:48 pm
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
had OB at a location called "The Pump Room" @ Clarke Quey today.. its something like a pub and restaurant mixed... it has very cool ambience n e food looks good too... they served us fries while we're on set and they r one of e best i have ever eaten... maybe they are more like wedges... they are really solid in the sense that e thing itself is "filled with potato"... u noe how some fries and wedges tend to be a little bit empty in e middle? yeah... this one wont... totally delicious...
e pple were nice enough to serve ahjie pumpkin soup tt comes with something like walnut bread... e soup's REALLY good... it was thick n tasteful... dun really noe how to describe it...
shuyi n me went through e menu n found quite alot of items tt we wan to try... YUM... made a date with her n jes to go visit the restaurant when e rest are r at penang filming.... yanping n diana will probably kill us but we don't care! we're inviting row too... so now i cnt wait for tt one week break... yum~~~
BUH-bye
11:04 pm
Monday, March 03, 2008
Had a lot of NGs today which was pretty tiring... ashley from 1A cut his hair with me n row holding different opinions... i thought e old one was nicer while row liked e new one more.. but we both definitely dont like guys in hairbands... XD
didnt go back to mediacorp with ahjie... stayed on to watch e punching scene between Mr MB (Mr Muesli Bars) and Mr Y... Mr Y very funny lar! He was like doing catwalk in the middle of the shoot... i laughed like mad... but then again, u hardly catch me NOT laughing like mad... then Mr MB has very funny chinese... it was fun listening to him struggle with e chinese pronounciation... YES, i'm evil!! Mr MB (if u r reading this by any accident), please feel free to approach me for chinese pronounciation class... i DO charge but it will just b a teh-o PER LESSON cause im NICE... lol... oh yar! i finally got my teh-o leh!! so sweet~~~ yeah, tts probably because i treated him to green tea ice-cream (on ahjie's acct)... LOL...
waited for row after everything is finished to find Tiff at her hotel so that we can have dinner together... can tell that she was really lonely since she has alot of breaks and there's no one to accompany her out... afterall, she's foreign... so me n row will take on e role to go out with her.. =)... dinner was fun though... as usual, e dark side of MCS...
wahahaha... today is a fun day~~~
BUH-bye
11:34 pm
Sunday, March 02, 2008
it was drizzling slightly when i was on my way down Caldecott Hill today... if e rain had gotten a little bigger, it wld have suited my mood to a T... my mood was down, down, down... i was totally demoralized, strongly suspecting myself of my capabilities and doubting the reasons as to why am i still on this earth...
it's probably e fact tt i didnt work hard enough... or mayb e blurness in me cldnt b waved off... this is e first time i feel tired of work...
just as i was at e bus stop, feeling e strong urge to cry, なんとかなるさ started playing on my mp3 player, coincidentially... なんとかなるさ vaguely means "Everything will be fine".. it was like a new strength for me, asking myself to carry on...
well, no matter how depressed i am, life shall carry on n i will have to be jolly once again... gotta live up to my name, eh?
BUH-bye
2:34 pm
i'm on a draining mode and i am very tired... yet, i cnt seem to sleep... something must have gone wrong somewhere... mayb a wire loose.. *shrugs*
my mood has been dropped to e bottom of e well for some unknown reasons... despite me being very "high" today at shoot... thanks to e nice owner of e factory who dished out cakes and cookies to all of us and we even got free chocolates to bring back.. it was very nice... its 70% pure cocoa with no sugar at all.. YUM! e crew started to make fun of me n said tt e chef who baked e cookies and cakes will be my god-pa... i ended up calling him god-father whole day long... i wldnt mind if i have yummy foods like tt everytime i c him...
work has been getting tougher... shoots are in a rush and i almost had to report to work everyday at about 7am or 8am and ending at 6.30pm... hadnt seen Mum for quite some time since she sleeps early but i finially got to meet her yesterday night.. i cld tell tt she was happy to c tt im still alive... genuine concern can always be easily spotted.. i love you, Mum...
its at times like this when i really feel tt i didnt do my part as a daughter, keeping them company when sis is away for studies.. i noe they support my decision to fly to taiwan for university but i cldnt help but worry tt with me n sis both away, wat r they going to do? wldnt they b lonely? who will b there to peace things out when they quarrel? it saddens me just imagining the two of them having dinner alone and how mum opens the door everyday to find the house empty... how our bed will no longer b slept on... how she wun c our clothes in e laundry (she'll probably feel happier about this).. how quiet e house will be...
i have seen how sometimes they missed sis... with me not ard, e loneliness will b doubled... it just saddens me...
*shrugs*... life...
BUH-bye
12:04 am