|The Dancing Loner|

Joanne
22nd feburary 1988
captive at SP DMC
when i'm in a bad mood, fuck off

|Cant Get Enough|

`Samuel and Kevin
`Adidas
`dance
`dogs
`crapping
`manicure
`dark chocolate
`ice-cream
`oreo cheesecake
`bananas
`soft toys

|Absent From Her Life|

*$2000 for taiwan trip*
* $3500 for Japan trip *
* slimming down n maintaining it *
* Endless clothes from Topshop, Zara, Mango etc *
* Nice bag *
* A little doggie (NO Jack Russells please) *
* A concert ticket to NEWS concert *
* 1TB Hard-drive *
*Ipod Touch*
*Yukata*
*Sony Vaio VGN-FJ78GP/B*

|Dance Tune|

|The Important|

-----------------------------
(",) Sakae Wheelock
-----------------------------
ruiping
chuyun
huji
xueli
kia fang
wheehong
jian guo
gabriel

-----------------------------
(",) BPGHS
-----------------------------
pameela
siimynn
sara
ally
lynnie
grace
liling
audrey
zaki
leo

-----------------------------
(",) SP DMC 05
-----------------------------
regina
weijie
jonathan
zhili
kaymiang
nicole
carolyn
ifah
shaun
weheartshaun

-----------------------------
(",) SP DMC 05 (LJs)
-----------------------------
zhili
nicole
kmiang
nad
regina
weijie
weheartshaun

-----------------------------
(",) SP DMC Jrs
-----------------------------
mervyn
dominic aka weipin
mizah
mahirah

-----------------------------
(",) ADP 6K'ers
-----------------------------
carina
connie
debbie
eric
eugene

-----------------------------
(",) Uncle Vincent's
-----------------------------
aidi
val
mindi
marine
maisie
nikky

-----------------------------
(",) Mediacorp
-----------------------------
row
samantha
nat
pinghui

-----------------------------
(",) Others
-----------------------------
ng
jinwen
gaddafy
tze shweng
huida
hweeting
rubez
poh ying
ryu
eastyle wretch
eastyle yahoo
ahdi
energy
zhi yong

-----------------------------
(",) Redirecting
-----------------------------
hotmail
gmail
yahoo
facebook
youtube
friendster
hi5
singapore polytechnic

|Forgottened|

January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
December 2009
February 2010
August 2010

as i was reading my sister's blog today, it makes me feel how useless i really am... i used to pride myself in my strength in languages, being able to seperate my english and chinese effectively... something which most singaporeans probably can't do... yet, i constantly pushed e fact tt my vocabulary in both languages are badly limited to e back of my head...

n it reminded me how i always seem to be chasing e shadows of my sister...

i remembered tt i was e smart one in e family, like how my mum used to say... but definitely e lazy one... my sister was bright too but much more hardworking than i was... i was never scared of a comparison with her... i mean, what was there to be scared of? i was the first in class... i was so used to getting everything right...

when my sister collected her PSLE results... she was driven to sch by e entire family as her sch was in yishun while we had already moved to woodlands... my dad n mum was very happy abt her results and she even got macdonalds (tt was a big reward back in the old days)... for mine? i remembered calling my mum, using the sch's public phone... and all i got was "i expected you to do better than that"... most of my frens would probably die to have my results back then... but hey, all i got was disappointment...

tt was e incident tt turned me into a complete different person... i refused to study in secondary sch, failed all my subjects, don't do my homework... from topping the class in pri sch, i bottomed the class every year in sec sch... neh, not really.. i still have jiawei to do e job... i was 2nd last... i wanted to show mum that if disappointment is all you gonna give me, im going to do even more of that...

lucky for me though, my 4 atrocious years in BP did not make me flunk my O's as badly as i thought it would.. i did well enough to get into a JC or any course in any poly that I would like to enter...

i was stupid though... i chose e sch tt my sister took, i even took up e same course...

then it started... everyone around us started to say how i am following in my sister's footsteps, probably admiring her for who she is... i can't remember how long i have been saying i wanted to get into mass comm... but definitely earlier than my sister... it pissed me off... i was e one with e idea first... so y is it tt e words going ard is tt im following her? just because by policy, i entered two years later than her? it upsetted me greatly bt i kept quiet... again, my education suffered badly... i dun turn up for class, i dun do tutorials... i even hardly appear at project meetings... i was worst classmate around... but then again, i got lucky... i was in e best class of e cohort, everyone warm n friendly, everyone helping me through... otherwise, i probably won't be able to attend the graduation ceremony thats going to be held soon...

now, as i have graduated, i hope to embark on the journey of pursuing a degree in Taiwan... no prize for guessing who's already there... now im again the little sister, chasing after e older one...

when will they stop it and recognize me for who i am? i am me... not just someone's sister....